But as I read their short paragraphs , I couldn’t help noticing how wordy they were. I did a followup lesson on writing concisely that worked about as well as anything I’ve ever tried with that skill.

I pulled one student’s paragraph at random and put it on the screen at the front of the room:

South Park is about four third graders Stan, Kyle Kenny and Cartman. They live in Colorado where it is always snowing. South Park is the town they live in where almost anything can happen. Funny things are happening all the time. Some of the material isn’t appropriate for children though due to the cursing.

First we talked about mechanical issues like commas. Then we started talking about concise writing. I kept asking, “How can we express the same ideas with fewer words?” By the time we had reduced the first 4 sentences to one, they had the idea.

Then I asked them to let a partner look at their writing and make suggestions first. Finally, students revised their writing and handed in both versions. Their grade will be based on the improvement between the first and second versions.

Because the writing was so short to begin with, students could practice the skill without getting tired of it. They were improving a piece of writing they had enjoyed working on, so they enjoyed revising, too.

I’ll soon see if the skill transfers — book reports are coming up!

I spent 45 minutes of prep time composing that email, trying to get just the right balance of cheerful tone and useful information, trying to make sense of all the notes I had taken during the planning, checking for spacing, paragraphing, typos, and all the other lapses I would be horrified to have another English teacher see in my writing. I was rather pleased with myself by the time I clicked “send.”

The first response was a single word: “Ugh.”

The colleague knew I would understand the humor he intended. But he really didn’t give me any useful feedback.

His comment caused an epiphany. My mild frustration was comparable to what happens when a student writes a paper and gets back nothing but a grade at the top, and a grade “C-” at that!

I personally provide student writers with more feedback than that, but I have known colleagues who just slap a grade at the top and hand back the papers. Still, I do tend to write notes on the papers more than I talk with the students.

I don’t care how time consuming it is — I’ve got to do more conferencing. It’s the only way I can coach the kids and prevent that frustration of not really knowing what part doesn’t work. Feedback should be more than just “Ugh!”

The two of us exchanged a few television memories (How big were those TV sets? How small were those screens?) before I turned the sheet of stamps over and noticed on the back 2-3 sentences describing the background of each stamp. Here’s one:

The Ed Sullivan Show: Through more than 20 years on the air, host Ed Sullivan kept Broadway buffs, jazz fans, rock-and-rollers, and others entertained on Sunday nights. His long-running variety show — called Toast of the Town in its early years — provided a showcase for virtually every kind of act, from classical musicians, ballet dancers, and comedians to popular performers such as Elvis Presley, Ella Fitzgerald, and the Beatles.

Each summary reveals extensive research and very dense language. Not a word is wasted.

What a great writing task! I began to wonder what students might write about TV shows they watch now or have seen in reruns.

• Mad Men
• Survivor
• Seinfeld
• Punk’d
• Oprah
• Dancing with the Stars

You get the idea. Extensive research condensed to 3 sentences. Add your own graphic, carefully selected to be a typical scene.

The resulting graphic + writing could even be dropped into Powerpoint slides and looped continuously during Open House, presenting parents with a microcosm of expectations.

(10/27 Update: Here is Stamps project handout I gave my students.)