More Puns

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
• The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
• The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
• When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
• The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
• A man was caught stealing corn from a garden. He was charged with stalking.
• We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
• The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
• The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
• The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
• Take your laptop for a run — jog your memory!
• A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
• I fell through a screen door and strained myself.